Recently some of us have been discussing what it is to form a tribe and what
is it to be priest/esses of Sacred Sexuality. This has gotten me thinking.

Ahh, words. So uplifting. So slippery. So evocative.

I often find it such a challenge to come to common definitions around even
some of the most well known words. Like LOVE for instance. I say I love you.
Now, what does that mean? Do I love you as a friend, best friend,
friend/lover, beloved, mate, soul-mate, child, relative, student, client? Is
there an implied promise or expecation of my actions that I am either giving
or requesting when I say those words?

I'll share a few of my definitions. They are not THE TRUTH. They resonate
for me. Perhaps for you.

Sacred Sexuality:
Sex can be degrading, fun, uplifting, an addiction, healing, connecting,
distancing, enjoyable, boring, excersise, transformational, divine,
destructive, a high, a downer and everything in between. What is the
consciousness and intentionality that I bring to my sexual act? That is what
will give the act its "flavor", its result and its possible sacredness.

Sacred Sex is undertaken with intentionality, consciousness, a desire to
contribute to oneself, one's partner, the world. For me, something is evoked
into its sacredness when I am present to it as sacred. For example, my
bedroom is just my bedroom until I declare it as sacred, become conscious of
it as sacred, treat it in a sacred manner. Then it becomes my Temple.

Sacred Sexuality can be undertaken alone, with one person, or in a group. It
can include actual intercourse, arousal and/or genital touch. It can also be
conducted through visualization and breathwork. Many religions have some
recommended pathways of studying and practicing Sacred Sexuality. Some
relatively well known paths today: Hindu Tantra, Buddhist Tantra,
Neo-American Tantra (all 3 Tantra paths are quite different and distinct
from one another), Wiccan Sacred Sexualty/Sex Magick, Creation Spiritualty
(Mystic Christian based), Native American Quodoshka (spelling?),Mesopatamian
Qadishtu.

Tribe:
An extended familially (see Family below) based network. My tribe would
fight for me. Be there if my child were sick. Care for me in old age. I
would also do these things for them. I do not feel I have a tribe at this
time.

The way some use "Tribe", I would use the word community or group. My sense
is that the word "tribe" is chosen to connote a more committed, connected
feeling (or identification) for the group.

Family:
Those either by blood or bond of heart/trust that I personally choose to
form a life commitment with. For me both tribe and family reveal themselves
through their actions over-time. It takes time. A long time. I am blessed to
have somewhere between 10 to 20 people I consider family. Perhaps these are
my tribe. They are not necessarily affiliated in any way with one another.
Some are blood family some are not.

Community:
These are people with whom I share a common interest. We meet and/or study
around our common interests (whether we do that in person or not). With you
I belong to a community of people interested in Sacred Sexuality. I also am
part of various Pagan Communities, Eclectic Spiritual Communities, Tantra
Communities, Scholarly Communities, Personal Growth Communities etc. etc.

Relationship Design:
(Might sound radical)I believe there is No One Right Way to design a Love
Relationship or Sexual Relationship. There is what works, what is honoring,
what is honest, what has integrity, what serves the evolution of one's soul.
Monogamy can be done beautifully, consciouslly, evolve the soul. It can be a
way to hide out, get lazy, become judgemental, avoid one's fear of intimacy,
justify complacency, cut oneself off from passion and feeling. Polyamoury
can be done beautifully, consciouslly, evolve the soul. It can be a way to
justify one's addicitions to sex or to falling in love, avoid one's fear of
intimacy, get lazy, become judgemental.

Polyamory, Polygamy, Polyfidelity, Swinging, Monogamy, Celibacy, forming a
community of Sacred Sexual Seekers, BDSM
(Bondage/Domination/Sado/Masichism). What nourishes the spirit? What feeds
the soul? What is right at this time in life? What can be undertaken with
integrity, honesty? What contributes to healing and growth? What is in
alignment with and an expression of values and commitments?

Priest/ess of Sacred Sexuality:
Someone who studies, is conscious, is willing to become ever more conscious,
is willing to ongoingly look at their shadow, is willing to face themselves
enough to heal, is willing to facilitate the healing of others, is willing
to let go of being "right" - "the healer" - "the guru". Someone who humbly
offers to serve the evolution of the soul to wholeness, holiness, health in
body, mind and spirit. Someone who brings healing, consciounsess,
intentionality and sacredness to the sexuality of the seeker.

(Note: Just because I consider myself to be a Priestess of Sacred Sexuality
does not mean that every sexual act I undertake would be inherently sacred.
I would still need to ask: Am I conscious? What is my intentionality? Am I
acting out of addiction? Am I acting out of avoidance? Am I in integrity
with my word, my commitments? Am I aware of and in support of thier
commitments, their integrity, their healing? Am I honoring my and their
boundaries? etc.)

Partner:
My partner can be in business, in love, in creativity. My partner is someone
with whom I share a committed, conscious collaboration. My boyfriend can be
my partner. So can my boss.

Mate:
I could have more than one. My mate is someone with whom I share an
intentionality of life long commitment. My mate is someone with whom I share
a deep sexual commitment and bond. My mate is someone with whom I share a
life vision. My mate is someone who is foundational in my creation of family
(whether or not we have children). My mate is one of my first considerations
when making any plans in my life.

Relationship:
In a sense I have a relationship with everyone and everything in the planet.
When Native Americans say a pray or blessing they say "and all my relations"
and they mean plants, animals as well as people. The question is "What kind
of relationship do I have?" Is it conscious? Caring? Intentional? Do I eat
with care? Walk through my day with consciousness? Am I aware of my shadow?
My darkness? Am I intentional about my actions and thoughts?

Well, my dears these are my morning thoughts. What are yours?

May your life be lived with beauty, harmony, joy and consciousness,
Francesca